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It's Mikey Here: The Lost Mikey Chuck Rivers Album

by Ivan Rivers

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    this is some legit ass hidden shit
    forged from the fires of a burnt ego
    drowned in crushed pbr cans
    you get it all
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1.
Lord, it's Mikey here Havin' a beer, thinkin' bout' Staying alive for a couple more years I'll give it a go See how it goes Thinkin' fast But I'm takin' it slow Now I don't get drunk, I get restless And when I get restless, I think The last time I drank without moving Was the first time I started to sink I was getting gone if I wasn't already there When it all occurred to me And Lord, since then I've been rambling But at least I know how to be Lord, it's Mikey here Havin' a beer, thinkin' bout' Staying alive for a couple more years I'll give it a go See how it goes Thinkin' fast But I'm takin' it slow Everywhere I've been is an echo Of the places I've already seen Projections of past on the roads and the paths And where they tend to lead So if the air I breathe has been breathed before And it's that same damn knock on my proverbial door Then I'll just cross my legs on my bathroom floor And let what came now come to me Lord, it's Mikey here Havin' a beer, thinkin' bout' Staying alive for a couple more years I'll give it a go See how it goes Thinkin' fast But I'm takin' it slow I was takin' a drive, to where I don't know Yeah man, I know, it ain't nothin' new Chasin' fog over my shoulder, found the world pulling over Dipping my fingers through grass and dew So if all my life is just recklessly racing Avoiding the people and faces I should prolly be facing Well, maybe I'll quit being reckless on some occasions Yeah man, how does that sound to you? Lord, it's Mikey here Havin' a beer, thinkin' bout' Staying alive for a couple more years I'll give it a go See how it goes Thinkin' fast But I'm takin' it slow
2.
I used to have a spirit in me That could take me outside Before shotgunning beers Gave me a place to hide Transforming on porches behind the barbecue stand Falling off playgrounds and landing in sand Now...I just sorta, stay inside Am I the last left lonely soul Who sees kids playing and thinks, "damn! I'm old... ...that used to be me, I used to feel something" A lot less daydreams now, less fascination Spent my last ounce of imagination Now I'm beat Now I'm just nothing I could pick up a tree branch On my way home from class Trace the whole sidewalk As it skips long the path Toss it up in the air, let it snap on the ground Smack a discarded pop can for that aluminum sound Then hide it in the batcave Where I spraypainted "ass" Am I the last left lonely soul Who sees kids playing and thinks, "damn! I'm old... ...that used to be me, I used to feel something" A lot less daydreams now, less fascination Spent my last ounce of imagination Now I'm beat Now I'm just nothing Once in a while, I feel something Close to what I once had Beach days and long nights Yeah man, things ain't so bad But I still get anxious for that ole recess bell For egging a teacher's house and running like hell For pop and chip parties, fake wrestling fights Reading books in the bedtime by my loud closet light Am I the last left lonely soul Who sees kids playing and thinks, "damn! I'm old... ...that used to be me, I used to feel something" A lot less daydreams now, less fascination Spent my last ounce of imagination Now I'm beat Now I'm just nothing ****imaginary last verse**** ****real human being**** ****and a real hero****
3.
I don't believe in love It's just justified lust and Hallmark cards But I don't believe in much So I can't take much of your hugs and hearts I don't Yeah, I don't You say I must believe in something but believe me I won't I don't Yeah, I don't Believe in anything I don't believe in fate My actions are my own, ain't got no goats to scape And heaven's another thing I don't expect to be welcomed by the pearly gates And I don't believe in life It's just stumbling bodies on our way to the end So I don't believe in death We still just ramble on with whatever's left I don't Yeah, I don't You say I must believe in something but believe me I won't I don't Yeah, I don't Believe in anything I don't believe in love But you keep following around tryna change my mind But I don't believe in mind So I don't mind slumming round with you just wasting time I don't Yeah, I don't You say I must believe in something but believe me I won't I don't Yeah, I don't Believe in anything
4.
I've had an easy life, I must admit Can't find that much wrong with it I sing a feathery song, my life? It has been light But something strange happened to me it seems The spots in life that used to gleam Have run out of day and Swallowed me in night I've grown up right I can't complain I've seen some hurt (we've all) But I've suffered through to gain I've grown up right Quite easily But if I've grown so right Then why's it all gone wrong for me? I'm affluent, well-educated Posh and smart, sophisticated I've seen the world in stride, I have nothing to unpack But my pain's so real, it hurts to feel The problem's I once took in zeal It seems my right's rode off and it's never coming back I've grown up right I can't complain I've seen some hurt (we've all) But I've suffered through to gain I've grown up right Quite easily But if I've grown so right Then why's it all gone wrong for me? I've seen some rough before Hell, sometimes I've wanted more But I never thought that this wrong would bleed so bright I've grown up right I can't complain I've seen some hurt (we've all) But I've suffered through to gain I've grown up right Quite easily But if I've grown so right Then why's it all gone wrong for me? But if I've grown so right Then why's it all gone wrong for me?
5.
As kids we played in dumpsters Whether spray-paint cans or mufflers Finding wonders in what others left behind Me and Zach Mahon spelt curse words With the guidance of my sister No legacy or consequence in mind And time gave it all it gives I can't repeat what I've already lived But I'll still struggle with the what and with the why As I keep moving with the motions Ignoring all emotions Lettin' life pass the most of me on by As something else busies itself with keepin' time Today we tested out the waters We were Arboretum wanderers Lettin' birds land on and eat straight out our hands Yeah, last we night we pushed the hours Surrendering our power If we have to, well, I guess we'll become men And time gave it all it gives I can't repeat what I've already lived But I'll still struggle with the what and with the why As I keep moving with the motions Ignoring all emotions Lettin' life pass the most of me on by As something else busies itself with keepin' time Mmmmmhmmm And time gave it all it gives I can't repeat what I've already lived But I'll still struggle with the what and with the why As I keep moving with the motions Ignoring all emotions Lettin' life pass the most of me on by As something else busies itself with keepin' time
6.
I wake up with the sun because that's how it's done Stumble out of bed Shake my body about, start figuring out What went on last night in my head In dreams I'm often terrified by actual things And my waking world's a nightmare from which I rarely wake The Guilt of Living Simple (in a complicated age) I work hard when I need to, I get things done Sometimes, done ain't always enough I lose track of where I'm at in a temporal sense And all the work starts to stack up I hold no reservations to holding concentration Just sometimes being idle is my biggest temptation The Guilt of Living Simple (in a complicated age) I let sounds swell around me then make some of my own I've never been the quiet type I battle with space 'til the shape of my face Inherits a weary kind Guilt is inescapable as well as regret But I'll keep on steppin' lightly on a heavenward path The Guilt of Living Simple (in a complicated age) The Guilt of Living Simple (in a complicated age)
7.
Yeah Jill and I Spun off 579 Sliding just by Northwood's edge We were barely halfway to Cleveland When the fate dogs turned their heads I heard them barking, Lord And saw them chomping at the bit As the sky swung madly backward, we were Gettin' on & givin' in You know, I've boiled it down I find I'm often found Half-living, while the other half's dreams And when I was a boy They never taught me that I Was reaching far outside my means So I chased some things I couldn't catch It seems I ain't stopped chasin' since But I'm ready now for settling down Gettin' on & givin' in Yeah, I have those days Where the thoughts I keep Ain't the kind you oughta share Then there's other days When them hidden words Sound much better in open air So I let out what's been held up Try and ease my worried head But it's just those same old words about Gettin' on & givin' in So come find me in the open/ocean I keep nothing now, it's right Just take whatever's shining And try and hold it through the night 'Cause there's no point in clenching knuckles Pickin' which side oughta win You just let go, you just walk by You get on, you give in You get on you get on you get on you get on you give in You get on you get on you get on you get on you give in You give in You give in
8.
I got a call last night while I's sprawled out on my couch And it took me by surprise It was a soft little voice and it was soaked in sorrow I could hear the sound of her eyes She said "Mikey dear, can you help me here I got troubles that are bringin' me down" Though I could hear her loud and clear I was filled up with beers And I didn't even make a sound" Aw shit She's crying; and I'm drunk again Too much Pabst Blue Ribbon in my blood again And she wants to let me know just how she feels But when I'm replyin', I'm drunk as sin I'm at my wit's end if I had wits to begin And I'm not sure what she's feelin' Is for real Yeah she's cryin'; and I'm drunk again The game was on so I just mumbled some Half-askin', half-hidin' my state And she poured out her heart to a fuzzy other end I could tell things weren't going our way The boys in the back, they laughed and they clapped As the Avalanche slid 'round the ice And her heart ached on, as I sat there stunned Could I ever do anything right? Aw shit She's crying; and I'm drunk again Too much Pabst Blue Ribbon in my blood again And she wants to let me know just how she feels But when I'm replyin', I'm drunk as sin I'm at my wit's end if I had wits to begin And I'm not sure what she's feelin' Is for real Yeah she's cryin'; and I'm drunk again I was out of my mind But she stayed on the line I had nothing left in me to try The quiet was loud And in spite of ourselves All she could do was cry cry, Cry, CRY ~~spoken like Johnny Paycheck~~ Aw shit She's crying; and I'm drunk again Too much Pabst Blue Ribbon in my blood again And she wants to let me know just how she feels But when I'm replyin', I'm drunk as sin I'm at my wit's end if I had wits to begin And I'm not sure what she's feelin' Is for real Yeah she's cryin'; and I'm drunk again She's cryin' She's cryin' And I'm drunk again Yeah, haha
9.
I've passed on more than I can handle Got my cellphone on the mantle Dad's asleep on the couch, I crawl outta the house With some cans full It's like 10 in the evening Our odd-workingman's weekend We get drunk on a Monday, make it last through the weekdays Then maybe sleep in We ease into each other Spellbound sisters and brothers Tossin' cards 'round in Kings, bumping into our things Using keg cups for cover Some leave later than some Some stay put but still gone And we pass 'round the starlight With Blue Ribbon and Bud Light As the night putters on I'm not sure what we will hold onto And what we'll leave behind Was it coming any clearer Or were we just wasting time? I'm not sure what we have held onto And what we all have lost But I'll never lose those nights we had Out in the garage We take turns with the speakers Each sharing our keepers I play "Lost Case of Being Found" and "Sunday Morning Coming Down" Tryna reach through the ether But we're covered in bruises Each not sure what our use is 'Til we look 'round the room Catch us burst and then bloom No need for usin', it's useless If you're all empty-handed You'll find the poor fool who's standing He'll reach behind yr chair to the Frigidaire And dispense to the demanding Some spill drinks from their spouts Some move out of this house This night's filled with yearning All bleary eyes burning As our lives putter out I'm not sure what we will hold onto And what we'll leave behind Was it coming any clearer Or were we just wasting time? I'm not sure what we have held onto And what we all have lost But I'll never lose those nights we had Out in the garage No, I'll never lose those nights we had Out in the garage
10.
I've been shitkicked by a mighty few Who call themselves friends When I get caught all wondering It all crumbles in I get tossed into tumbling dust With no letters been sent They're saying where'd that ole Mikey go, woah Well, he just gone and went When I get to slowing down Then I might miss that home I ain't some New Radical I barely appear I'm just one crash short of an accident And I can barely steer I don't know where tomorrow is But I'll never forget it When I get to slowing down Then I might miss that home ~~girl from the north country plays in the musical interlude~~ ~~~bobby d hummin' along in yr mind~~~ I still pass by in moments Small pockets of air Packed with cut grass and dinnertime Scuffed knees and cut hair But I won't hold my breath of it I let in and pass through 'Cause there's no point in gettin' stuck 2 it It'll be swept from u When I get to slowing down Then I might miss that home When I get to slowing down Then I might miss that home

about

From the desk of Celebrated Folk Icon Ivan Rivers:
Mikey Chuck Rivers was a transitionary project; a transition from the Bright Eyes-indebted indie wunderkind of my younger years into some sad adult Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down kinda fella, warm 24 in one hand, a collection of Haruki Murakami novels in the other. I was too ashamed to put out this record after a mental health breakdown where I fully embodied the Mikey Chuck Rivers "character"; a bipolar diagnosis and a transcendental spiritual quarter-life crisis later, I shelved the record forever. Today, I'm happy to release it to the world along with Eternal Bummer Records for free download, stream, or PWYC. From the mind of Mikey in the midst of his mania:

"Hey y'all!
It's yr ole pal Mikey Chuck Rivers here, written' from Clinton, Ontario to introduce to you a record years in the womb. This here's It's Mikey Here, the debut full-length of the drinkin' man's thinkin' man. The songs you'll hear are over three years old, written as a Mikey Manifesto, the guide to agin' disgracefully, keepin' it light, thinkin' fast, takin' it slow. Hunkered down in the Swamp Songs studio space in lucky Lucan, Ontario, the ever patient Matt Weston helped facilitate the recordin' of the Real Bleeders Band in all its fragmentations and permutations over the two-plus year recording period. It's been a real mission and I'm stoked to finally be able to share it with y'all. Thanks for joinin' yr ole pal Mikey on our infinitely intertwined loosey goosey celestial paths.

The record is dedicated to Old Man Rivers, my father Dr. Jan Raczycki in his memory, as all songs were written prior to his passing on July 31st, 2011. He gave me my name, my life, and his unrelenting support, plus a serious penchant for Parsons and Guy Clark. Thanks dad."

credits

released October 5, 2016

Mikey Chuck Rivers - vocals, harmonies, acoustic and electric guitars, bass
Pat "The Dome" Armstrong - drums
Josh Geddis - mandolin and fiddle
Kevin Kennedy (The Dyadics, The Marrieds) - steel guitar and banjo
#jillside: the voice

Produced by Mikey Chuck Rivers & Matt Weston
Recorded, Engineered, and Laboriously Doctored by Matt Weston in Swamp Songs Studios, Lucan, Ontario.

Recorded between Winter 2011-Summer 2013.

All songs written by Mikey Chuck Rivers.

SPECIAL THANKS:
Matt Weston for the eternal patience, Shawn Hebb for the start down in Hali on my birthday with the pedal steel, Kevin for texturizing, Josh for the shredding, #jillside for the beauty & talent & inspiration, Pat "The Dome" for keepin' time and survivin' that blown tire way back in February 2012, the garage crew: Josh & Ryan & Brando & Ian & Joe & Rosha & Katie, Cactus Keith Holland and the Holland Family for takin' me to Nashville and teachin' me the real joy of country music, Steve Dawe for the shirts and being a neighbour, Curt Lobb & Aaron Bell for flyin' to Hali to film some real fun music videos and seein' the province, Johnson & Nigel for their backwoods powers, the Eternal Bummer extended family and all the Bummerati stayin' bummed around Huron County, the town of Clinton, Ontario for raisin' me, the town of Toronto, Ontario for teachin' me, the town of Halifax, Nova Scotia for strikin' a balance, the Bourbonite Regret Society of Toronto (drink bourbon, have regrets), Jud Block, Dan and the Rancho Relaxo crew, Ben and Collective Concerts, PouzzaFest, CMW, NXNE, SPAY, the punks, the drunks, my parents, and my autoharp strummin' sister Scarlett the Finko Palinko.

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Ivan Rivers Toronto, Ontario

CELEBRATED FOLK ICON of the CN TOWER CITY // there's no such luck // such wrecks as us //

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